Genuine Friendship

"I have never met a man so ignorant that I could not learn 

something from him."

-Galileo

Sometimes I feel that being my genuine self isn't good enough for some people. That's just too bad for them because I'm going to tell you exactly what I think about people who think they're too good for other people.  I find it revolting when people imply that other people are not smart enough to be their friends. Perhaps it's not the other people who have the learning deficit.  The real problem is the fact that you're only viewing the other person as an object to fill your every whim and fantasy instead of seeing them as a person with feelings, and thoughts. 

Working with homeless people was a real eye-opener for me.  I learned from my clients every single day. Most homeless people are down-to-earth, and they will call you on a bullshit answer that you give to them. One of the most important things that I learned about being a support worker is how to be genuine. The being "genuine" principle was repeatedly taught through my counselling classes but it really didn't get absorbed until I started working in social services. Then it all hit home because I could not use formulaic answers with the clients without them tilting their heads at me and saying, "Now I want a real answer". Thankfully, I was able to give them the real answer they were looking for from me.  The real answer was always based in honesty and genuineness.

So the next time that somebody says to you that "I only friend people who are smart" or "I only friend people who are confident" or whatever they think that you are lacking as a person.  Just remember that you are good enough.  It's the other person's lack of self-esteem that is narrowing their choices. It has nothing to do with you.

To Beach or Not To Beach

"To beach or not to beach, that is the question" :). David and I had a lovely day together at the beach. When I woke up this morning I decided that I was going to forego my kickboxing class in lieu of taking a long hike.  We went out for brunch together then we got on the road to Centennial Beach.  There are hiking trails around that beach so we went on a 7 km. hike together.  When we hike together we keep our eyes peeled for wildlife. Today we saw a bald eagle and a red-tailed hawk among other birds.  We couldn't help but notice some of the beautiful wild flowers too. I love how nature gifts us with quiet beauty, & tranquil spaces. Of course, the flip side to that serenity are the noisy crows and seagulls.  There's always that balance in nature. I like to think of that balance as validation of my boisterous laugh because if nature made room for noisy birds, then there is room to be noisy me. Tomorrow it's back to boot camp class but today was a beautiful break from the ordinary.

Thursday, August 9 marked my 2-month quit day from smoking.  I still get cravings but mostly when they only come when I see another person smoking.  Other then that I hardly think about it anymore. Some days are harder than others though.  Some days it seems that I see more people smoking then on other days or maybe it's because I'm craving it so it only seems as though there's more people smoking. It is so much easier to relax more deeply when you're a non-smoker.  Relaxation is a great reward for not smoking.

The Meteor Showers start tonight! I can't wait! I haven't seen a meteor shower for a long time.

 

School Prep

Today I had an appointment with my new advisor from Access and Diversity at UBC.  I have a learning disability so I am registered there to get exam accommodations, a notetaker, and have my textbooks put into an alternate format.  As a special needs student, (that still feels odd for me to say because I've never considered myself a special needs student before I started university), I need to start planning and organizing well before the semester begins.

To give you an idea of what I'm talking about in terms of being organized I will outline for you what it's like to have to think well ahead before the school year starts. I registered for my Fall and Winter courses in early July as everybody else does.  1) I need to find out who is teaching the section of the course that I registered in. 2) I need to contact the instructor for each course immediately to request a course syllabus and a list of all the textbooks for their class.  Hopefully, with any luck at all I will get a timely response from the instructor (it doesn't always happen).  3) I then need to contact the library and ask them if they have that text available in the alternate format I need. 4) If the library does have the text than I need to arrange to come in and do the necessary paper work in order to receive the text in the format needed.  5) If the library doesn't have the text then I need to go to the bookstore, buy the text (if they have it available, and it's frustrating when they don't have the text available), take it to the library, and fill out the paper work so that the staff can begin putting it into the format I need. The library needs at least 1 month to complete this process so the sooner you can get the textbook to them the sooner it will be done.  It can be a lot of work depending upon how much cooperation you're receiving at every stage. This is all in addition to the regular back-to-school organization that every student does.

It's worth it to have everything organized when I attend class on that first day. That way I don't have to worry about anything else but studying for my courses. 


 

Now, where did I put my motivation?

It's been busy this past weekend.  Saturday I went to the Dyke March after I had my morning workout.  Sunday night I went dancing with some friends of mine. Yesterday, I was visiting with friends.  Today was the first day I could get back into my physical training routine.

I broke away from my normal routine a little and went to a morning class.  The Boot Camp Queen is away this week and nobody's substituting for her classes. It was enjoyable (inasmuch as exercise is enjoyable).  I've heard that it's actually good to change your exercise routine occasionally especially when you're losing weight because you won't plateau for as long.  My schedule and fitness routine will change in September.  

It's hard to believe how much my body has changed in such a small amount of time.  I started my fitness training in the first week of July (this year) to get ready for a Breast Cancer Fundraiser in April 2013.  It's only been a little over a month.  It's also been one of the sweatiest months of my life.  

I've noticed that many of the fitness instructors/trainers get involved in training for marathons, or fundraisers such as the one I'm doing for Breast Cancer.  It seems as though it helps them keep that goal in mind when they're training.  Perhaps having a goal is the secret to keeping yourself motivated to exercise. 

Trust

"Trust needs to be earned" is a popular saying in our society.  A few years ago I had the privilege of learning a First Nations version of this notion, "Trust somebody until they give you a reason not to". That doesn't mean that we divulge our deepest, darkest secrets to anybody who will listen. It means that you can gradually build a trusting relationship with someone unless or until they show themselves to be untrustworthy. "Trust somebody until they give you a reason not to" gives the other person the benefit of a doubt, and gives people room to be themselves without judgment.

I was recently reminded of how trust plays a role in my own life.  It's very difficult to see eye-to-eye with somebody who looks down at you, spits in your face, insults you, and belittles you. Needless to say people who treat me in such a fashion lose their trustworthy status with me, and I don't keep them in my life.  It doesn't matter to me if you're family or not, if you treat me as though I'm dog shit that you scrape off of your shoe then you will never darken my doorstep again.

In spite of what some people believe I do have the right to exist, to love and be loved.  I also have the right not to be subjected to any bullshit by anybody, and that includes family.  Anybody who believes that they can treat me with disdain without suffering the consequences of their actions is delusional.  When you treat me with hostility you lose my trust.

Lessons from Yoga

When I was a teenager I walked 2 miles/day for 5 days/week, and I did yoga.  My Mom taught me the finer details of yoga.  One of the things that she taught me was that even if I couldn't do a pose, the act of trying to do the pose will build muscle, and eventually I would be able do the full pose.


I keep that exercise principle in mind whenever I am in aerobics classes.  If there is an exercise that my body finds difficult to do, I just keep trying to do that exercise until I can do it.  Eventually, my body does adjust to the exercise. I was so surprised when I was doing yoga yesterday and I could go from the Plank pose into Downward Dog pose several times in a row.  When I first began exercising I could not do the Plank pose, now I'm doing that and more.


I can't believe that it's been just a little over a month since I began training for the Breast Cancer Fundraiser.  My body has made some amazing changes within that short period of time.  


Keep Smiling

Here's Pie in Your Eye

I spent some time visiting our friend Ken today.  Ken is hilarious! He always makes me laugh. Today he was regaling me with some stories from his childhood. Ken comes from a very large family, and he is the second youngest. One of his older brothers worked at a bakery, and brought home some pies that were near the expiration date.   


Well, as the story goes, one of his brothers had upset their Mother.  Ken was in another room at the time, and all he heard his brother say was, "You wouldn't dare!" to which his Mother said,"Like hell I won't!" followed by (the sound) SPLAT! and that set off a pie fight among the Mom and siblings.  During this commotion his Dad came home from work, looked around the kitchen and said,"I'm going to the pub" and left.


Ken is so animated when he tells this story it's almost like being there and witnessing the whole thing. I was almost in tears from laughing so hard.  I told him that it reminded me of a 3 Stooges Pie Fight (video clip at the beginning of blog). We both cracked up laughing.  


I like hanging out with people that I feel comfortable with and make me laugh.


Cheers, Ken!