I say it my way

I have my own opinions about everything just as everyone else does.  I choose my own battles very carefully and in my own time.  I don't feel the need to engage in every conversation that happens around me; it would be far too exhausting to do so.  I conserve my energy for times when I really need to do battle.  I don't agree with everything I read but I also don't find it necessary to vocalize those concerns all the time.  But know this, just because I have not said anything doesn't mean that I don't have an opinion about it.

Recently, I have had the experience of having my Mohawk heritage called into question just because I didn't say what people wanted me to say.  The remark came from a person of non-Indigenous heritage. I think that it's grossly unfair to do this to me or any other person of colour.  Since when do I speak for Mohawk people? Why does it have to be that a person of colour needs to represent their race, when people from the dominant group are judged as individuals? The disappointing thing about the situation is that the original situation that people expected me to say what they believe has absolutely nothing to do with Indigenous people.  Why should I then comment about Indigenous issues?
 
I only have one thing to say to people who are trying to bully me: I will always be who I am and that doesn't include behaving like you and it doesn't have to be.  I don't answer to you, I will answer to my ancestors and Creator. As for attacking me as an Indigenous woman, shame on you! Walk a mile in my moccasins.

Trekking Poles

This summer seems to have flown by so quickly.  I wish I could extend it a few more weeks but school starts next week.  I've been busy trying to organize my time for school.  It's hard to make some decisions to keep certain things and let go of other activities.  Of course, I'd like to keep all of it going but when my school work needs to come first and foremost.  Tomorrow I'm picking up my books to start reading ahead for next week.  I know, I'm a complete nerd! But I'd rather be a little ahead than way behind in my studies.  The next goal I have for myself is to re-do my Knowledge Test for driving before the first day of class.  Well, at least I have another week to do that.  It won't take much either.  I've taken it before and each time I pass with flying colours.  It's just a matter of reviewing the material.  It seems as though I have a few more people in my life now who are willing to help me out with driving practice.  I'm very grateful for that because I'd like to book the road test within the next year and start driving around on my own to places.

Now, that my busy summer is coming to a close, I'm thinking more about preparing for Bust-A-Move (the Breast Cancer Fundraiser).  For most of the summer, I've had ongoing problems with plantar fasciitis and haven't been as active at the gym as I need to be.  [Enter Trekking Poles], yes, you read that correctly.  One of my close friends has let me borrow their trekking poles.  I tried them for the first time today and went for a 30-minute brisk walk non-stop.  It was so nice to go for a walk and not have constant pain in my foot and lower back.  I will be keeping the walking in my daily schedule.  As well, I plan to return to the gym and my aerobics classes once I feel my strength returning.  For now, I am happy walking and maybe I'll use the stationery bikes at the gym.

The other thing that I need to think about is fundraising for the Breast Cancer event. I suppose that means that my teammates and I will need to discuss how to do this together.  It will be fun.

I'm Missing Out

The August 1st long weekend is Gay Pride here in Vancouver.  This year, I marched in the parade! Yippee!  Even though there was a lot of festivities and activities that I attended on the weekend, I managed to fit in a few very serious conversations with a couple of good friends.  The conversations ended up being very productive too.

One friend of mine was worried about not being part of a small community of people who gather approximately once a month.  They told me that they felt as though they were missing out.  After much discussion, we came to the conclusion that they actually belong to several communities.  Some of the communities they belong are much larger and have a greater selection of people to friend.  The question then becomes, why did they assume they were missing out?  My friend goes to many events, has many friends, and their circle is expanding all the time.  Well, sometimes when we look at our lives all we see are supposed deficits instead of appreciation for what actually is in our lives.

Seeing shortages in our lives is something that we all do because we're anxious about missing out, and not belonging.  It's as though we're afraid of running out of friends.  When we really consider our fear of running of friends, we realize that is an unfounded fear.  Can we really, truly miss what we don't know? 

Alternatively, what do we know?  Or more to the point, who do we know? When we view our lives with appreciation and gratitude for what we do have it changes our perspective.  We start seeing abundance in our lives when we appreciate what we have. 

I realize as I am writing this that some people may think but what if this person needs a change?  I am not advocating for people not to have change in their lives.  I am saying that maybe a change of perspective towards gratitude will help you.  Change based upon fear is a step backwards, not forwards. Definitely, go for change in your life but take appreciation with you on your journey.

Just Snap Your Fingers

It's been a while since I've blogged.  This summer has been great so far.  I've already been camping and I plan to go again.  I'm preparing for Bust-A-Move for Breast Cancer in March 2014! This time there's a small team of my friends who will be raising funds for Breast Cancer.  I will be keeping you posted on my fitness progress.

I have been reading some advice/other blogs lately and there are a few things that bother me about some of them.  The following are some issues that I have with some of the blogs: 

1.  Articles/advice blogs that advocate a quick fix on emotions (ie.  If you're jealous, just stop being jealous). My first thought when I read something that simplistic is (sarcastic), "Oh yeah, just snap your fingers together and all your emotional and mental hang-ups will disappear!"  Then I wonder just how many people who have read that article wonder what is wrong with them because they can't stop a negative emotion such as jealousy. 

I have some good news for you:  You will never rid yourself completely of negative emotions.  You have become aware of your emotions so give yourself a happy sticker because that is the first step to managing your emotions.  Managing your emotions is the key, not getting rid of your emotions.  Many people are labouring under the false assumption that they need to get rid of negative emotions.  Negative emotions such as fear, anxiety, jealousy etc... are part and parcel of our survival mechanisms.  All emotions have a place in our lives because they protect us.  Negative emotions become damaging to our lives when they become out of control (ie. jealousy turns into possessiveness).

Managing emotions is a daily battle and requires us to be patient and kind with ourselves. Whenever you find yourself experiencing an emotion such as jealousy, then Thank yourself for noticing your emotions. Quickly assess what is making you feel that way - perhaps you really do have a reason to feel jealous at that moment.  If so, then talk to a trusted friend about it.  If you're feeling jealous of a partner then talk to your partner about it. Think of it as a process of sharing your thoughts and feelings with them.  When explaining yourself, use "I" statements, such as, "When I heard you say, "I'd rather be with Jane tonight". I felt hurt and jealous.  I need reassurance".

2.  Here's another point about some of the articles I've read.  One article in particular was talking about dating and it said something the effect of, "Perhaps you just want to have sex with somebody but you don't want to spend time with them outside of that sexual relationship".  Having an exclusively sexual relationship with somebody is not a bad thing of and by itself.  It does become a bad thing if you weren't honest about your intentions from the very beginning.  If you haven't been honest with your sexual partner then you run the risk of thoroughly insulting them.  And yes, in this particular case, it would be your fault for not being honest with them from the beginning.

Just remember that using people to boost your ego is never a good idea.  To be blunt: STOP BEING A FUCKING ASSWIPE AND USING PEOPLE!  When you enter a relationship of any kind, whether it be friendship, dating, sexual you are dealing with a person not an object.  If you want use something to get off then buy a dildo.

Turtle Island

I recently came across this image of a turtle with land on its back.  It is a representation of Turtle Island.  Many First Nations cultures have stories of Sky Woman falling from the Sky and landing on Turtle's back.  In the stories, the turtle becomes North America.  Sky Woman is North America's first inhabitant.  The Haudenosaunee (Iroquois) people have this story, and so do the Algonquian Nations. 

When I saw this image, it reminded me about the Turtle Nest Monitoring program that I volunteer for every year.  This year the program will be using biologists to monitor the turtles' nests but I will be volunteering to help in other ways.  In particular, the biologists need people to search out other places around the park where turtles are laying their nests.  The biologists need this information so that they can create more nesting beaches, if necessary.  I certainly hope that we do find more potential nesting sites.

The above image also reminded me about how wonderful it is to work with turtles.  Helping the endangered turtle population gives me great satisfaction.  I adore working with these animals.  I tell my friends all the time that it is difficult to hold a turtle and still be in a grumpy.  There's something about handling turtles that makes one smile.  Perhaps it's the fact that they initially hide in their shell when you pick them up, or perhaps it is the way that they look you right in the eye or crane their necks.  Turtles always put a smile on my face.  The same is true whenever I pet my cat and he purrs.  I can't help but smile at the sound of a purring cat.  So, today I leave you with the thought of how animals can lighten our moods.  Think about moments in your life when an animal put a smile on your face, and how lucky we are to have animals as part of our lives.

The Punching Bag

Sometimes we back ourselves into a corner emotionally, mentally, physically and may be even spiritually.  When that happens we tend to lash out at other people, especially those who are closest to us.  After all, it's easier to blame other people in our lives than to take a long, careful and introspective look at ourselves.  To use a simile, we become like verbal and emotional boxers when we lash out at others.

Our own fears and anxieties are feeding our thoughts during times of stress.  We anxiously look around ourselves to figure out why we're feeling stressed.  During times of stress we tend to see people and circumstances in black and white terms as though all things said and done have been carved into stone. We need to remember that nothing is carved in stone. If we're not self-aware, we could start using people who are closest to us as our own personal punching bags.

There is a way to help slow down, if not stop, our inner boxers from lashing out at those we love:

1.  Ask yourself this question: Is it true?  Then consider what evidence you have of this thought or circumstance being true.  Let's take an example such as the thought, "This person doesn't care about me!" Ask yourself: What's my evidence that the person doesn't care about me?  
2. Examine the evidence.  Then ask yourself, "Does this evidence actually support my thought that the person doesn't care?" Perhaps the evidence is flimsy and one-sided once you begin to really consider it.  Perhaps it's not flimsy and one-sided, perhaps you really do have a valid concern.  
3. If it turns out that you have a valid concern then you need to discuss those concerns with the other person.  Perhaps you've realized that there was something that was said or a circumstance that arose that really bothered you.  One way to start such a conversation would be to use the W.I.N. Formula :  When I see/hear you do/say ___________.  I feel (or think) __________. I need ______.  By the way, the more specific you are with how you feel, and what you need, the more effective your communication becomes.

For example, When I hear the words, "I talk to you all the time", I feel taken foregranted and dismissed.  I need reassurance that I am important to you.

Hopefully, this strategy will open up conversation between you and the other person and will lead to a deeper connection. If you still feel as though you and the other person are not understanding each other you may wish to consider having somebody facilitate the conversation.  Facilitation allows for an objective person to re-word what each of you is saying.  The other route you may wish to consider is professional counselling together.

Our Culture is Our Identity

“Healing resources for Aboriginal people are found in connecting with culture, nature, ceremony and other aspects of indigenous culture” (Goodwill & McCormick, 2012).  Everybody needs an identity which comes from our cultures.  First Peoples’ cultures have been actively assimilated and acculturated since colonization began.  In 1876, the government instituted the Indian Act which continues to be political legislation that governs every aspect of life for First Nations peoples.  Duncan Campbell Scott, the Deputy Superintendent of Indian Affairs stated, “I want to get rid of the Indian problem […] Our objective is to continue until there is not a single Indian in Canada that has not been absorbed into the body politic and there is no Indian question and no Indian Department” (Royal Commission Report on Aboriginal Peoples). The residential school system, the banning of ceremonies such as the potlatch, all assimilation processes have hinged on this piece of legislation.  Assimilation has caused severe psychological trauma to the Indigenous population because they were forced to take a culture and identity that was not their own.  “Historical trauma serves as a general backdrop for Native America experience and identity” (Ryback & Decker-Fitts, 2009).  The results of more than a hundred years of marginalization and acculturation of First Nations peoples and cultures have been the loss of identity. “The relentless subjugation of Aboriginal people and the discounting of their ideas have hurt those aboard the Aboriginal voyage of discovery into the inner space” (Ermine, 1995).  The loss of identity manifests itself as addictions, self-harm, and hopelessness which places people at risk for suicide. “…among the First Nations population rates of mental health problems such as suicide, depression, substance abuse, and domestic violence all seem to be significantly higher (than the general population)” (McCormick, 1996 emphasis mine)  For First Nations people, their identity is intertwined with their culture, language, and values.  The more immersed into their culture they become, the stronger their identity as First Nations people becomes.  Mental and emotional health is balanced for First Nations people when they have a strong identity that is deeply rooted in their culture, ceremonies, connection to the land, and language.  In this paper, I will discuss how First Nations identity comes from being rooted in their culture and ceremonies, and language.  Then I will discuss one cultural revitalization projects within the Vancouver area. 

Culture and Ceremonies

“Cultural resilience in their participants (Native Americans) was derived from the strength in family support systems, caring, communities, strong identities, spirituality, cultural values, worldview, ceremonies, and traditions.  Of these, spirituality was the core of Native people’s survival” (Grandbois & Sanders, 2009 emphasis mine).  Spirituality is at the center of all ceremonies, language, values, and culture.  This is because First Nations see everything as connected, and having meaning.  There is value and a spiritual quality to all aspects of life, that is, emotional, spiritual, physical, and mental aspects.  “Native Americans believe their healing practices and traditions operate in the context of relationship to four constructs – namely, spirituality (Creator, Mother Earth, Great Father); community (family, clan, tribe/nation);environment (daily life, nature, balance); and self (inner passions and peace, thoughts, and values)” (Portman & Garrett, 2006).  The four constructs are about encouraging the individual, and how that individual relates to the outer world. “The role of healing in traditional First Nations society has been not only to reaffirm cultural values but also to consider the individual in the context of the community” (McCormick, 1997).  The First Nations worldview sees everything as intertwined.  The individual is part of the larger community and works to serve that community as best they can.  The community carries the values, ceremonies, and culture that serve the best interests of the individual.  The community cannot exist without individuals, and individuals do better within a community context to support them.  All of the four constructs of the medicine wheel have spiritual meaning because spirituality is integral to the culture and ceremonies of First Nations people. “The Medicine Wheel philosophy of life is important to the inner dialogue because it identifies and describes the parts of the human make-up and shows how they are connected” (McCabe, 2008).

 For example, a smudging ceremony consists of using plant medicines such as sage, cedar, sweetgrass, and tobacco either all together or just sage, cedar or sweetgrass.   If the individual is smudging by themselves then they would go ahead and smudge themselves.  If the individual is smudging with other people then that person would offer the smudge to the other people first, and smudge themselves.  Then the offering would be used to acknowledge The Creator, Father Sky, Mother Earth, and the four directions, and the ancestors.  The person leading the smudging ceremony would then identify themselves to the ancestors, Creator, Father Sky, Mother Earth and the four directions and give them Thanks for the day and all the blessings given to them.  They can pray for the community, family and themselves.  Usually prayers for the self are done last because community and family members are important.  After the prayers are finished then the person would conclude the prayers with the phrase, “All My Relations” to acknowledge that everything, every one, every animal, insect, fish, and every plant and tree is related.   Within the context of the four aspects of the medicine wheel, the smudging ceremony is spiritual because it includes prayers and acknowledgement of universal powers.  It is physical because you burn sacred medicines (symbolizing earth the creatures and living beings on the earth, and connection to the land) in an abalone shell or shell from another sea creature (symbolizing the water and all the creatures that live in the water).  Smudging is a mental exercise because not only are you acknowledging spiritual powers but you also acknowledge yourself within the context of the entire universe, and culture.  The person leading the ceremony also needs to have the knowledge of how to do a proper smudging ceremony.  This includes the knowledge that when doing a smudging ceremony in a group, everybody in the group gets smudged first (placing importance on community and serving other people before ourselves), and the leader of the smudge smudges last.  We acknowledge problems, disasters, and also joys in the world, and the community. It also acknowledges illness, problems or good health within the family, and the problems and blessings of the individual.  Within the smudging ceremony everything is connected and it ultimately connects the individual into everything else in the universe.  This brings us back to how deeply First Nations identity is intertwined with their culture.  Every aspect of our culture contains the four constructs (spirituality, community, environment, and self), and the four aspects of the medicine wheel (spiritual, physical, emotional, mental).  Everything has meaning and value, without this cultural knowledge, First Nations people lose their identity more easily.  When people lose their identity, then they lose their hope and social problems become a community issue.  People’s confusion around identity and hopelessness for the future are the products of the government’s active assimilation policies. 

Language

“Indication that Aboriginal people were attaining knowledge of a very different nature and purpose from Western peoples is evident in Aboriginal language and culture” (Ermine, 1995).  Aboriginal languages, as with all languages, express the values of the culture.  As previously mentioned in this paper, all aspects of the medicine wheel, that is, spiritual, mental, physical, and emotional are intertwined in Aboriginal culture.  For example, “The Cree word mamatowisowin, describes the capability of tapping into the ‘life force’ as a means of procreation” (Ermine, 1995).  Ermine further explains the concept of mamatowisowin, “this energy manifests itself in all existence because all of life is connected, all of life is primarily connected with and accessed through the life force” (1995).  This Cree word is only one of the many First Nations languages that exist but it is a good example of how cultural values are expressed within language.  Brant Castellano describes mamatowisowin as, “the capacity to connect to the life force that makes anything and everything possible” (2000).  Brant Castellano’s description of this word emphasizes that the values being taught within this word is that everything is spiritual up to and including life itself.  The Ojibway word, Giibinenimidizomin means owning ourselves or being self-possessed.  Individuals who are self-possessed have no problem with their identity because they know exactly who they are and they are aware of their own limitations.  Goodwill and McCormick describe Giibinenimidizomin for First Nations people as happening when they are actively participating in ceremonies and community and can feel centered because of their involvement with their own culture (2012).  Giibinenimidizomin on a medicine wheel would be the following:  spiritual - visiting and learning from Elders in the community and attending ceremonies.  Mental - learning and retaining cultural knowledge such as how to use plant medicines, learning and speaking your language.  Emotional - attending community events and assisting your community when you can.  Building emotional bonds with other people in your family and community, and having a support system.  Physical, there are physical aspects in almost everything.  Cooking a traditional meal can be considered physical and also mental because of the knowledge of how to prepare the food.  Attending a sweatlodge ceremony can be spiritual, physical, mental and emotional.  First Nations languages carry the values of the culture.  The First Nations words mamatowisowin, and Giibinenimidizomin demonstrate the complexity and richness of their respective languages. 

Revitalization

Anderson Womens’ Healing Lodge Society

I was employed at Anderson Womens’ Healing Lodge Society for approximately two years.  Anderson Lodge is part of the Circle of Eagles Society and is located in Vancouver.  Circle of Eagles Lodge Society provides culturally appropriate services to Aboriginal men who have been federally incarcerated.  Jerry Adams, Executive Director of Circle of Eagles Lodge stated, “Many Aboriginal men (and women) have no connection to their roots.  Through various programs, from drumming to making button blankets, from hosting talking circles and arranging visits to a sweatlodge, we help forge those connections, allowing the brothers (and sisters) to discover who they are” (bchousing.org, emphasis mine)Anderson Lodge provides culturally appropriate services to its Aboriginal women who are homeless, fleeing an abusive relationship, and who have addictions issues.  In the past five years they have been given a contract from the Corrections Service of Canada to serve as a halfway house for federally incarcerated Aboriginal women.  Anderson Lodge’s programs include access to Elders; there is a sweatlodge on site, and drumming and singing.  There is an Elder on site at least two days per week.  The residents can assist the Elder by chopping wood for the sweatlodges, or they can just go and talk to the Elder.  The residents can also learn crafts such as beading or making dreamcatchers.  The Lodge has craft supplies on site so that the residents can feel free to make their own crafts without cost to the resident.  The Lodge also has a program called Bannock-on-the-run where the residents assist in making soup, bannock and sandwiches to distribute to the homeless in the Downtown Eastside.  Staff drives the residents to the Downtown Eastside to distribute the food.  The residents are given some money for participating in the Bannock-on-the-Run program.  It was enjoyable to observe the residents preparing the food all day and then get ready to distribute the food in the evening.  It never ceased to amaze me just how happy and excited the residents were to help the community in this way.  The therapeutic effect that this program has on people is so rewarding because it gave the residents a sense of accomplishment and community service.  The staff makes referrals to residents to outside sources from Addictions Counselling in a First Nations cultural environment to traditional language programs. 

Most of the women at the Lodge did not have the opportunity to learn about their culture as they were growing because they come from dysfunctional families, were part of the foster care system, or residential school survivors.  I would like to share some of the stories about the personal growth of the residents.  To protect the identity of the women, I have changed their names but not their stories. 

Eloise is from Katzie First Nations Reserve.  She came to Anderson Lodge after a 10-year incarceration at the Fraser Valley Institute.  When she first arrived she was quiet and mostly kept to herself.  While incarcerated, she had been active in the Native Sisterhood and many cultural activities.  After a few weeks of residing at the Lodge she began to attend sweatlodges regularly.  She spent a lot of time talking to the staff and the Elder.  Eloise began to participate in the Bannock-on-the-Run program.  Her enthusiasm for her community and culture encouraged the other residents to get involved.  After her first year of residing at the Lodge, she received a Grandmother Drum from the Elders.  She would often have Drumming and Singing circles with the other residents.  The last time that I saw Eloise was one year ago.  She has never broken any conditions of her parole and has remained in residence at the Lodge.  Throughout her stay, I observed that she became more self-possessed as the participation in cultural activities increased.  She was able to identify her feelings more readily, and express herself. 

Cherise is from Prince Rupert.  She was homeless and had addictions issues when she first arrived at Anderson Lodge.  She came straight from Cordova Detox to the Lodge.  She had a shy demeanor when she first arrived.  After being at the Lodge for a few months she began to open up to other people.  One of her favourite pastimes was doing crafts especially dreamcatchers.  She became so good at crafting dreamcatchers that she began to teach the new arrivals to the Lodge how to make them.  She also participated in the other cultural programs and activities at the Lodge.  She became an outgoing person by the end of her stay.  Her plan of action at the end of her residency was to return to her family in Prince Rupert.  She had been free from her addictions for at least six months by the time she returned to Prince Rupert.  She realized that being in Vancouver and away from her family was the reason that she had addictions issues. 

Conclusion

Aboriginal identity is rooted in being involved in our cultures, communities, ceremonies, and languages.  The more active Aboriginal people are in their culture and communities, the stronger their identity becomes.  In First Nations culture everything is connected and intertwined.  First Peoples languages reflect their worldview and values.  When the government began actively assimilating First Nations people, it deprived them of their cultural heritage.  The result has been generations of people who do not know their own culture and do not understand themselves.  Through revitalization programs such as Anderson Womens’ Healing Lodge Society people are now able to learn about their culture and the ceremonies.

Works Cited

Interview with Jerry Adams. (2011).Circle of Eagles Lodge in Vancouver Gives Residents New Lease on Life. Retrieved from: http://www.bchousing.org/Media/Stories/2011/11/22/3620_11112214

Brant Castellano, M. (2000). Updating Aboriginal Traditions of Knowledge.Indigenous Knowledge in Global Contexts: Multiple Readings of Our World.. Toronto: University of Toronto Press.

Ermine, W. (1995).  First Nations Education in Canada: The Circle Unfolds. Vancouver: UBC Press

Goodwill, A.O., McCormick, R. (2012).  Giibinenimidizomin: Owning Ourselves – Critical Incidents in the Attainment of Aboriginal Identity. Canadian Journal of Counselling and Psychotherapy. Vol. 46 (1), 21-34.

Grandbois, D.M., Sanders, G. F.(2009) The Resilience of Native American Elders. Issues in Mental Health Nursing. Vol. 30, 569-580.

McCabe, G. (2008). Mind, body, emotions and spirit: reaching to the ancestors for healing. Counselling Psychology Quarterly, Vol. 21 (2), 143-152.

McCormick, R. (1996). Culturally Appropriate Means and Ends of Counselling as Described by the First Nations People of British Columbia. International Journal for the Advancement of Counselling, Vol. 18, 163-172.

McCormick, R. (1997). Healing through Interdependence: The Role of Connecting in First Nations Healing Practices. Canadian Journal of Counselling. Vol 31( 3).

Portman,T.A.A., Garrett, M.T. (2006). Native American Healing Traditions. International Journal of Disability, Development and Education. Vol. 53, 453-469.

Rybak, C., Decker-Fitts, A. (2009). Theory and Practice: Understanding Native American Healing Practices. Counselling Psychology Quarterly, Vol. 22 (3), 333-342.