Western society equates crying with weakness. A person who cries at the work place is told to, "take a few minutes to pull themselves together", as though the crying person has completely lost touch with reality. The person crying is made to feel ashamed for expressing such deep emotions. Our society also believes that men should not cry at all. A belief that I think is very damaging to the male psyche because it denies them the right to self-expression.
According to research, crying actually bonds people together. http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2009/08/090824141045.htm Crying is a release of built up tensions and emotions. When we cry, we cry with our entire being - physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. Our body, mind and soul cry with us. The real crying shame in our society is that crying is considered something that only weak women do. When in actual fact, when we cry, we are opening ourselves up to the support of other people. Here's an analogy from nature - when wolves howl it's because they're looking for their own kind. They are searching for support for hunting and socialization. In the same way, we can consider our crying to work in the same way as a wolf howl. When we cry, it's a signal to other people that we're looking for their love and support.
A few years ago I attended a First Nations memorial service for the husband of a good friend of mine. One of the Elders talked about crying. He said,"Crying allows us to gather strength. Crying is for the strong."
My son cries when he is disappointed. He always has and still does as an adult. When he plays lacrosse, and the team has lost, he'll often be seen crying during the closing handshake. No anger, no resentment - just sadness. And then it passes.
ReplyDeleteNone of his teammates nor friends has ever said anything derogatory about it as far as I know.
It is one of the most beautiful things to see, and it is one of the many things I love about him.
good to know, Louise
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