It's been a while since I've blogged. This summer has been great so far. I've already been camping and I plan to go again. I'm preparing for Bust-A-Move for Breast Cancer in March 2014! This time there's a small team of my friends who will be raising funds for Breast Cancer. I will be keeping you posted on my fitness progress.
I have been reading some advice/other blogs lately and there are a few things that bother me about some of them. The following are some issues that I have with some of the blogs:
1. Articles/advice blogs that advocate a quick fix on emotions (ie. If you're jealous, just stop being jealous). My first thought when I read something that simplistic is (sarcastic), "Oh yeah, just snap your fingers together and all your emotional and mental hang-ups will disappear!" Then I wonder just how many people who have read that article wonder what is wrong with them because they can't stop a negative emotion such as jealousy.
I have some good news for you: You will never rid yourself completely of negative emotions. You have become aware of your emotions so give yourself a happy sticker because that is the first step to managing your emotions. Managing your emotions is the key, not getting rid of your emotions. Many people are labouring under the false assumption that they need to get rid of negative emotions. Negative emotions such as fear, anxiety, jealousy etc... are part and parcel of our survival mechanisms. All emotions have a place in our lives because they protect us. Negative emotions become damaging to our lives when they become out of control (ie. jealousy turns into possessiveness).
Managing emotions is a daily battle and requires us to be patient and kind with ourselves. Whenever you find yourself experiencing an emotion such as jealousy, then Thank yourself for noticing your emotions. Quickly assess what is making you feel that way - perhaps you really do have a reason to feel jealous at that moment. If so, then talk to a trusted friend about it. If you're feeling jealous of a partner then talk to your partner about it. Think of it as a process of sharing your thoughts and feelings with them. When explaining yourself, use "I" statements, such as, "When I heard you say, "I'd rather be with Jane tonight". I felt hurt and jealous. I need reassurance".
2. Here's another point about some of the articles I've read. One article in particular was talking about dating and it said something the effect of, "Perhaps you just want to have sex with somebody but you don't want to spend time with them outside of that sexual relationship". Having an exclusively sexual relationship with somebody is not a bad thing of and by itself. It does become a bad thing if you weren't honest about your intentions from the very beginning. If you haven't been honest with your sexual partner then you run the risk of thoroughly insulting them. And yes, in this particular case, it would be your fault for not being honest with them from the beginning.
Just remember that using people to boost your ego is never a good idea. To be blunt: STOP BEING A FUCKING ASSWIPE AND USING PEOPLE! When you enter a relationship of any kind, whether it be friendship, dating, sexual you are dealing with a person not an object. If you want use something to get off then buy a dildo.
