Control Yourself

Their relationship had been intense for years.  It was clear to anybody who saw them together that they were in love.  They made each other laugh and sometimes cry.  But she grew tired of him because there was nothing new and exciting in their relationship.  It had become too comfortable. She knew she still loved him but it had become routine.  He knew that she had become bored.  But instead of bugging her about it and forcing the issue, he simply told her that he was willing to give her some space so that she could figure out what she wanted.  This intrigued her because her previous experiences in relationships had at times made her feel caged.  Now she was free to consider her needs and wants.  She decided that he was demonstrating true love in that he did not want to hold her where she did not want to be held.  She knew she would go away for awhile but she would return to him because of his generosity.

Sometimes relationships are like this.  Sometimes we just need to know that we will not be held captive by the people we hold near and dear.  It is at times of uncertainty that we know who truly cares about us.  When somebody we know is willing to place your happiness above their own selfish desires then we know that this is a person that we want in our lives for a long time.  It's so rare and refreshing not to have to fight for freedom in a relationship.  The question I pose today is are we trying to control the people in our lives? If so, then we need to consider what is missing in our lives that we find it necessary to control the people we love.  A long, introspective journey can shed light on this for us.  It occurs to me that it takes a lot more energy to try to control other people.  It takes less energy to figure out what our needs are and control ourselves.

Holistic Circulation

We had another Elder come and speak to my class this week.  This Elder is the Director of the Institute of Aboriginal Health.  He was fascinating to listen to, and I learned a lot from him.  The one thing that stood out for me was when he spoke about circulation in a holistic context. Naturally, for good health you need physical activity (physical circulation) but he expanded upon that and spoke about spiritual/emotional circulation, mental circulation, and social circulation.  He mostly emphasized spiritual circulation though, and it was at that moment that I realized that my life has become unbalanced.  I've realized this truth for a long time, but was procrastinating getting myself back into circulation.  I also realize that what he said was true that the more balance we have in our lives, the more healthy we become. 

There's much more to the Medicine Wheel then what I'm about to say so if you'd like to know more I would suggest going to the nearest Aboriginal Friendship Centre and speaking to an  Elder.  I will use my life as an example.  Right now I have mental circulation, that is to say that I am actively engaged in learning at university and elsewhere.  I have physical circulation because I aim to get to the gym between 3 - 4 times a week, and I'm active outside my gym time as well.  I have social circulation because I have many friends, and I actively meet up with them and socialize.  That leaves my neglected spiritual life.  I stopped smudging, and attending the sweatlodge because for about a year I was unable to do them.  Now, I've gotten out of practice of smudging, praying and taking time to sweat.  So, this morning I decided that enough was enough and I smudged for the first time in a long time.  I feel great right now.

The Medicine Wheel shows us where our life is not in balance.  I have set up my calendar with the medicine wheel in mind.  The activities are colour-coded so I can track the balance in my life.  I use the colour green for my spiritual/emotional activities and there's not enough green on my calendar right now.  Starting today, I'm going to change that and make more time for spiritual life.