Trust

"Trust needs to be earned" is a popular saying in our society.  A few years ago I had the privilege of learning a First Nations version of this notion, "Trust somebody until they give you a reason not to". That doesn't mean that we divulge our deepest, darkest secrets to anybody who will listen. It means that you can gradually build a trusting relationship with someone unless or until they show themselves to be untrustworthy. "Trust somebody until they give you a reason not to" gives the other person the benefit of a doubt, and gives people room to be themselves without judgment.

I was recently reminded of how trust plays a role in my own life.  It's very difficult to see eye-to-eye with somebody who looks down at you, spits in your face, insults you, and belittles you. Needless to say people who treat me in such a fashion lose their trustworthy status with me, and I don't keep them in my life.  It doesn't matter to me if you're family or not, if you treat me as though I'm dog shit that you scrape off of your shoe then you will never darken my doorstep again.

In spite of what some people believe I do have the right to exist, to love and be loved.  I also have the right not to be subjected to any bullshit by anybody, and that includes family.  Anybody who believes that they can treat me with disdain without suffering the consequences of their actions is delusional.  When you treat me with hostility you lose my trust.